Michael Jackson.Legendary entertainer.
The King of Pop.
Iconic Superstar.
We all knew him, but few seemed to understand him.
Since his sudden death on June 25, 2009, a lot has been said about Michael Jackson. And that's to be expected. After all, he lived four decades in the public eye.
I've watched the news coverage, and I've heard a lot of people say a lot of things. However, what I've not heard is what I'm about to say in this piece. Stay with me...
Thank God for Joe
Seriously? Allow me to explain. As difficult, demanding and abusive as Mr. Joe Jackson may have been, he was the one who recognized greatness in his five sons and developed it. Joe Jackson gets all the blame but none of the credit for giving the world the gift of music and dance that we would come to enjoy in the person of Michael Jackson.
Call it "exploitation" or "maximizing one's gifts." Whatever you call it, he wasn't the only person to do it. Forgive the comparison for a moment--but think about the fathers of Tiger Woods and Venus and Serena Williams. The clear difference is, Joe was much less skilled in positive nurturing techniques. He could have learned a lot from the likes of Earl Woods and Richard Williams.
Forgiveness is only step #1
In spite of Joe Jackson's inability to show unconditional love to his son, in time, Michael Jackson forgave his father. However, the media and the general public seem much less willing.
Michael Jackson has publically stated that he made amends with his father. But that should have been only the first of many steps to wholeness for Jackson. It's unclear whether or not he got much beyond step one in his healing process. The next and most critical step for Jackson would have been to decide to go from being a victim to victor. I believe his life demonstrates that he made that decision and accomplished that goal in his professional life. However, it's much less clear as to whether or not he was able to maintain a similar achievement in his personal life.
Accepting Responsibility is setp #2
After forgiving his father, Jackson should have decided to take full responsibility for his life and his actions from that moment forward, and determine to never play the blame game again. However, that was not a skill Jackson appeared to have mastered. In addition to initially casting blame upon his father and his difficult childhood, Michael often blamed the media for his difficult life. No doubt though that the media did make life difficult.
Normal is relative
At the same time, is it possible that Jackson could have simply promised himself that he would lead as normal of a life possible--no matter what? Perhaps, but the reality is, the life Jackson led was normal to him. He'd been dodging cameras and the media since age nine. Michael Jackson was often berated for choosing not to live a more normal life, but our "normal" was never normal for him. Remember the adage? "Walk a mile in another man's shoes..."
Jackson Sought Help
Acclaimed writer, physician and spiritual leader Deepak Chopra states that after Jackson's 2005 child molestation trial Jackson consulted him for spiritual guidance. He even went and spent a week with Chopra in his home. Clearly Michael Jackson was spiritually and emotionally drained from the ordeal of the trial.
However, during his time with Chopra he asked Chopra to write him a prescription pain killers. He complained of pain in his back and elsewhere. Chopra knew that much of the pain was stress-related and told him there were other ways to cope with his physical and emotional pain. Michael, unfortunately, was unwilling--perhaps because he felt incapable--to try a different approach--a more holistic approach that didn't include the use of prescription narcotics.
I Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." At the same time, it's incumbent upon each one of us to learn how God wants us to bear the burdens of life. There is a positive, healthy way to cope with the challenges of life, and then there are less healthy ways of dealing with them.
I believe the true tragedy of the life of Michael Jackson--not unlike the tragedy of many-- is that between his childhood years and the time of his death, it appears as though Jackson never fully learned how to successfully cope with the challenges of life in a healthy manner.
Michael Jackson the overcomer
Like anyone else, Jackson experienced seasons of both defeat and triumph during the course of his life. I recently read a quote by author Dr. Wayne Dyer that says that we must learn in any difficulty to say, "Thank you God for the experiences I've lived through." He didn't say "gone" through. We're not thanking God for going through all of the horrific things we may have experienced in life, but we are thanking God that we lived through them--that we came out on the other side.
In spite of what he endured -- like the rest of us--Michael Jackson "came out on the other side" of a lot of situations in his life.
For starters, Michael Jackson was emotionally and physically abused by his father, but he lived through it and became the world's greatest entertainer.
Jackson suffered second and third degree burns while filming a Pepsi commercial but he lived through it and went on to create some of his best music in the wake of that tragedy and the physical pain he apparently suffered as a result.
Jackson suffered from vitiligo and transformed from a black man to a white man in front of the entire world--yet he continued to pursue his passion and make music that brought happiness to millions.
Michael continually struggled with low self-esteem, image "issues," cosmetic "malfunctions" and other health challenges, but he lived through it and continued to face the disapproving public--satin mask, wheel chair and all.
Jackson was accused, tried and later acquitted of child molestation, and suffered immense ridicule, persecution and personal humiliation as a result. Through it all, he continued to make industry-transforming music and give generously to improve the lives of children around the world.
Record-breaking Michael
Michael Jackson shattered records in the music industry and was a trailblazer whom other entertainers would emulate. Michael Jackson made MTV history. He basically created the modern music video. Michael Jackson invented "live aid" as we know it in the form of the iconic song, "We are the world." Jackson created the moonwalk. He won the most Grammy Awards ever. His Thriller album sold more albums than any album in history. He was twice inducted in the Rock and Roll hall of fame and gave millions to suffering children around the world--all while bearing the burdens of his own personal demons of insecurity and low self-esteem.
Michael Jackson got up every day and pressed past the voice that said "just give up" and decided instead, to "give" something to someone else.
Michael learned the power of giving
In an interview, Michael Jackson once told a journalist that if it wasn't for the children of the world (whom he was committed to helping), "I would kill myself." As strange as that statement may sound, I can't think of anyone for whom the idea of escaping life via death hasn't been a fleeting thought at some devastating instance in their lives.
Michael Jackson came to discover that giving makes life worth living. And eventually he came to have his own children whom he could love, and in return, receive unconditional love.
Many of Jackson's troubles (much like yours and mine) were self-inflicted. Even still, For the majority of his life, Michael Jackson managed to rise above his troubles (whether external or self-inflicted) and keep pressing forward.
There would come a time, however, when the self-destructive habits Michael chose to maintain, would eventually catch up with him.
A gift who will be missed
Michael Jackson was larger-than-life. He was immensely creative, exceptionally talented, innovative, profoundly passionate about his craft, and likely the greatest entertainer the world will ever know. He was also more like you and me than we probably want to acknowledge.
Those who knew him remember him as a kind, gentle and loving soul. Yet he had flaws, and according to those close to him, he found it very difficult to conquer his self-defeating habits.
Yes, Michael Jackson is "gone too soon" (to quote his 1991 song). But let's be grateful that he was here--and to his credit--he left four decades of music and dance as his legacy...his gift to us.
###
